--Rachel Carson, Silent Spring
So many hugs...
“Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts. … There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature — the assurance that dawn comes after night, and spring after winter.”
--Rachel Carson, Silent Spring
So many hugs...
Have you ever been going through a really rough time and your acupuncturist or therapist or well-meaning neighbor asks you...
Have you been doing some self care?
I mean, Yes.
Self care is a revelation in many ways.
There was a time in our history where women were largely supposed to care for everyone else and be satisfied with that.
.............. Can I say AMEN that those days are going by the wayside.........
Self care came into the mainstream and women started doing it!
We got massages, went for mani/pedis, had spa days.
We took time out to go to a coffee shop and journal.
We went to yoga.
We read a couple dozen self help books.
It was good.
It really IS good.
It's amazing that we are doing these things for ourselves.
[Cue fist in air.] YES!
Do ever feel like you simply CANNOT TAKE CARE OF ONE MORE FLIPPING PERSON?
That person being you.
Have you ever felt like self care sounded like too much work?
Have you ever felt too tired to schedule a massage or do a sun salutation?
Have you ever thought, "Can someone just take care of ME for a change?"
I hear you loud and clear.
At this point, you don't need self care.
You don't need self nurturing.
You need to be nurtured by someone else.
When I was looking for an image for this blog post I searched:
Woman being nurtured.
Woman nurturing another woman.
Woman taking care of another woman.
Do you know what images came up?
Women taking care of babies
Women taking care of children
Women taking care of men
THERE WERE NO PICTURES OF WOMEN BEING NURTURED.
Is it THAT uncommon?
I'm thinking maybe it is?
My dear sisters.
When you have taken care of the kids, the pets, the partner, the job, the PTA, the house, the check-ups, the homework, the grocery shopping, the bills, and you're, understandably, feeling burnt out...
You need someone to take care of you.
You need to be nurtured.
So here's what you do!
You can turn to a partner - if they're skilled in nurturing.
You can turn to another adult family member - a sister, a cousin, an aunt.
Or you can do what I prefer - turn to a friend.
Here's some nurturing activities I recommend to ask for from a friend who is NOT currently in a state of burnout:
If there's one thing I would recommend out of this list, it would be to just let yourself be held.
Did you know that there are professional cuddlers in Portland?
Check out this awesome organization: Cuddle Up To Me.
You can get cuddled platonically by professionals, and it's all care FOR YOU, but not BY YOU.
Did you notice that I said LET YOUR FRIEND under all of my suggestions?
Often when we've gotten to the point of burnout, we've got a belief running that says something about "not deserving care" or "needing to be there for others, but not allowing others to be there for us..."
Allow others to nurture you. Even if it feels uncomfortable at first.
You need it. We all do.
If all of this seems like it's way outside of your comfort zone, you can always get a hug from me and my team before class. That's a beautiful first step.
Hugs are healing too.
Here's one for starters...
(((( HUG ))))
Now go let someone take care of you for a change. <3
PS: If you're burnt out and feeling like you could use some help reworking your priorities and learning to say no, contact me. I get it, and I've got techniques to gently help you find you find balance in your life again.
Me to new student: "So have you ever done Zumba before?"
New Student: "No... and I'm really nervous because I'm so uncoordinated!"
Me: "Nah... just let yourself flail around and your body will pick it up over time. And have fun!"
The students who listen to me and keep coming back to class over time TOTALLY gain ground in coordination! It's remarkable!
The students who get frustrated on class number one because they're not getting it, usually leave and never come back, resigned to this belief that they're uncoordinated.
9 times out of 10, you're not uncoordinated.
You're just doing something new.
Remember how awkward it was learning to drive a car? Or ride a bike? Or braid your friend's hair?
No one says, "I can't drive a car, I'm uncoordinated." They just awkwardly go through the steps and eventually - LEARN!
Our culture has little patience for not being a "natural" at something from day one.
To be honest, some people will pickup Zumba faster than others. Good for them.
However, your body is SO brilliant, that given enough chances, it will learn and remember and grow and change and YES - you will realize that you ARE coordinated.
You just needed time for your body to adapt and learn.
Because I know this is true (you can't get the hang of something or the feel of a class or instructor) after just one class, we offer a generous Intro Deal of four classes for $20.
Or if you feel that maybe you gave up too soon, come back and give yourself another shot. You can get 20 Classes for $169 (good for a WHOLE YEAR) right now - we only do this ONCE a year - so now is a good time to get back into the swing of things!
So come and give your brilliant body a chance to learn something new and love it!
And have some fun in the meantime!
It's so... exhausting... right?
You know, I believe there are a few different kinds of tired:
But I want to talk about one reason that you might also be tired that doesn't have anything to do with sleep or lack of it.
Sometimes when you're walking around tired every day it's because you are in a state of MASSIVE RESISTANCE.
What do I mean?
I mean you are energetically digging your heels in because there's something you need to do, that you rrrrreally don't want to do.
And that takes constant energy.
And that is exhausting.
Check out if you've resisted doing any of these things:
If none of these cause resistance in you, what does?
Got it in mind?
Now, think about how you feel when you actually force yourself to get that tough thing done.
You feel lighter!
You feel energized!
You feel like you could do a freaking dance because you DID THE THING you were avoiding!
Not as tired.
Maaaaaybe not even tired at all any longer.
It's pretty amazing that our thoughts and feelings about something can elicit a physical response, but it happens all the time. We just don't always connect the dots.
Next time you're feeling tired, ask yourself what you might be resisting.
See if you can get yourself to do one-teeny-tiny-thing to get started on that task and watch yourself get some of your energy back.
You've got this,
PS: Need help tackling your resistance? Perhaps you don't know what you're resisting, you don't know why you're in resistance or you can't get yourself to DO THE THING YOU NEED TO DO and you REALLY NEED TO GET IT DONE. Contact me.
I love helping my clients get out of resistance so they can do more of the FUN things they enjoy.
I love to dance and if you live in the Portland area, definitely come dance with us at our BBPDX classes. But I also love to write about living intentionally, joyfully and courageously. Welcome to my blog.