Most of my coaching clients come to me for one reason: they feel stuck.
They want to do something different with their lives - start their own business, start a family, start a new relationship - but they can’t quite get themselves to make the change and they need guidance and support.
The thing I look for as their coach is the main thing (or things) they're holding onto.
It's those things that are usually the key to unlock all the energy they need to surge onward and upward.
There's usually something major they have to let go of.
I think of it like a hot air balloon.
Hot air balloons have sandbags - loads of sandbags - clipped to them to keep the balloons from taking off before the pilot and passengers are ready.
When it's time for the balloon to take flight, the pilot unclips the sandbags, takes over the controls and up the balloon goes!
We all walk around with sandbags clipped to us.
If you're stuck, you may have A LOT of sandbags, or one especially heavy one.
And listen. It's really tough to move onto your next thing when you're got something heavy weighing you down.
Sometimes the thing to let go of is obvious:
- a relationship that isn't working
- a soul sucking job
- an entanglement with family drama
Sometimes it’s less straightforward:
- a haunting memory from childhood
- a belief about who you are or what you are capable of
- a critical voice from your past that’s keeping you small
When my clients tell me they’re stuck, I get this image of a cluttered closet with all of this stuff jammed in it.
Some of it isn’t even their stuff.
It’s their Aunt Margaret’s criticism of their dress at Easter when they were 12.
Their Grandfather’s limiting thoughts on money.
Their Father’s gruffness about sharing feelings.
All of this STUFF crammed into the mind and heart… no wonder they feel stuck!
There’s no room for anything new!
So how do you start making room to hear your own voice and see your own path?
You need to find THE THING that is weighing you down and let. it. go.
Easier said than done, right?
We humans don’t like to let things go.
Especially when we don't know what we're going to do next!
Any connection with the word LOSS and we subtly (or not so subtly) freak out.
BUT WHAT IF I NEED IT?!?
I'M NOT READY TO LET GO!
BUT WHAT WILL I DO NEXT??
Here’s my super basic overview of how to start getting unstuck.
When I work with my clients, I use techniques that help them to release mental/ emotional baggage (sandbags), but let's start basic for now.
- You need to get your visual space clear. Your external world is a reflection of your internal world. Pick that stuff up. Be ruthless. Let it go. Recycle it. Donate it. Get rid of it. Create a visual space without a bunch of stuff you don't need and never use anyway getting in the way. Do this in your living space.
- Do the same letting go process in your car. Clean it out. Get rid of that crap in the glove box. For real. Let it go, man.
- Do it at work. Clean off your desk. Your inbox. Take 30 minutes here and there and do it. Free of some energy. Imagine yourself unclipping sandbags as you go.
- Now - look at your personal relationships. Are you spending time with someone who makes you feel like crap? Do you feel slimed after you interact with them? Listen! Mindsets are contagious. Get the heck outta there. Just stop hanging out with them as much. Please.
- Now onto the big thing (and yes, if it's big, it's a really good idea to hire a coach). Big things are usually relationships, jobs, habits, deeply held limiting beliefs. These are the things that when you do let them go - you will feel a rush of lightness flow to your life (SO MUCH LIGHTNESS it will feel ECSTATIC). Because things things are so big and often so entrenched in your life, they're often extra hard to let go of.
Letting go of the big stuff takes guts.
It's not easy, but you can absolutely do it.
There are also ways to make the letting go process a lot easier (that's why I love what I do so much), and I really recommend hiring a coach if you've got a big thing that you know you need to transition out of.
Letting go of the big thing could be the sandbag that lets you zoom upward.
Action time! Go DO something. Clean out a drawer. Write down the things you need to let go of and try on the idea of what life would feel like without being weighed down by it. Throw out some trash in your front seat this afternoon.
See how much lighter you feel!
I believe in you.
You've got this!
PS: Do you know someone who could use this blog post? It doesn't seem like a big deal, but it would mean a lot if you would share it. Thank you! ~ Rebecca*