Have you been doing some self care?
I mean, Yes.
Self care is a revelation in many ways.
There was a time in our history where women were largely supposed to care for everyone else and be satisfied with that.
.............. Can I say AMEN that those days are going by the wayside.........
Self care came into the mainstream and women started doing it!
We got massages, went for mani/pedis, had spa days.
We took time out to go to a coffee shop and journal.
We went to yoga.
We read a couple dozen self help books.
It was good.
It really IS good.
It's amazing that we are doing these things for ourselves.
[Cue fist in air.] YES!
Do ever feel like you simply CANNOT TAKE CARE OF ONE MORE FLIPPING PERSON?
That person being you.
Have you ever felt like self care sounded like too much work?
Have you ever felt too tired to schedule a massage or do a sun salutation?
Have you ever thought, "Can someone just take care of ME for a change?"
I hear you loud and clear.
At this point, you don't need self care.
You don't need self nurturing.
You need to be nurtured by someone else.
When I was looking for an image for this blog post I searched:
Woman being nurtured.
Woman nurturing another woman.
Woman taking care of another woman.
Do you know what images came up?
Women taking care of babies
Women taking care of children
Women taking care of men
THERE WERE NO PICTURES OF WOMEN BEING NURTURED.
Is it THAT uncommon?
I'm thinking maybe it is?
My dear sisters.
When you have taken care of the kids, the pets, the partner, the job, the PTA, the house, the check-ups, the homework, the grocery shopping, the bills, and you're, understandably, feeling burnt out...
You need someone to take care of you.
You need to be nurtured.
So here's what you do!
You can turn to a partner - if they're skilled in nurturing.
You can turn to another adult family member - a sister, a cousin, an aunt.
Or you can do what I prefer - turn to a friend.
Here's some nurturing activities I recommend to ask for from a friend who is NOT currently in a state of burnout:
- Let your friend make you a delicious dinner without ANY partners, kids or pets around. (NONE.)
- Let your friend pick a really good feeling movie on Netflix and then have them wrap you in a blanket on their couch and let you just lie there and veg out. Now watch another movie.
- Let your friend snuggle you. (I know this isn't for everyone, but touch is HEALING ya'll.)
- Let your friend take you away somewhere without technology and then spend the whole weekend reading books and eating good food and talking. Or not talking.
- Let your friend tuck you into a comfy bed at their house so you can be quiet and nap. Let them bring you tea when you wake up. Now sleep some more. Drink more tea.
- Let your friend take you to a river and sit there quietly together and watch the water. Look at the birds. Listen to the leaves rustle. Let your friend bring a picnic. Let them wrap you in a blanket.
- Let someone be there for you, whatever that looks like, while you let yourself be cared for.
If there's one thing I would recommend out of this list, it would be to just let yourself be held.
Did you know that there are professional cuddlers in Portland?
Check out this awesome organization: Cuddle Up To Me.
You can get cuddled platonically by professionals, and it's all care FOR YOU, but not BY YOU.
Did you notice that I said LET YOUR FRIEND under all of my suggestions?
Often when we've gotten to the point of burnout, we've got a belief running that says something about "not deserving care" or "needing to be there for others, but not allowing others to be there for us..."
Allow others to nurture you. Even if it feels uncomfortable at first.
You need it. We all do.
If all of this seems like it's way outside of your comfort zone, you can always get a hug from me and my team before class. That's a beautiful first step.
Hugs are healing too.
Here's one for starters...
(((( HUG ))))
Now go let someone take care of you for a change. <3
PS: If you're burnt out and feeling like you could use some help reworking your priorities and learning to say no, contact me. I get it, and I've got techniques to gently help you find you find balance in your life again.